Thanks for commenting, Nickola! I think joining local groups is key to integrating and sharing common interests with locals and foreigners alike. Tallinn is a great city!

I couldn’t agree more, Michael! Well said.

Hi Marlin,
Absolutely. I agree. Where is the line between enjoying a higher quality of life through currency arbitrage, and exploiting the place you’re visiting to the point of leaving the locals worse off?

Good luck in your search J! Now that I have a couple of years of experience in having a home base in my home country plus traveling about half of each year (cumulatively, pandemic notwithstanding), I can say it’s great.

Oh so true, and well expressed. We all feel this I am sure.

Back at home ‘with roots and community’ and I almost feel ready to shirk it off again. Because, partly, I don’t feel I am contributing much here anyway. In late 20s, it’s already getting to that slightly tricky time where appreciation, new friendships, energy levels are dwindling. People know what they ‘want’ now, and don’t want to be influenced or give up their safety nets or boundaries. I found acting, improvisation – one of the first times I felt connection and childish joy again.
It wasn’t competitive, it was silly and I felt safe, free and alive. I recommend it to anyone feeling ‘disconnected’.

As I was saying, I guess I don’t feel entrenched or valued at home as much here either. This is partly because I’m not giving/sacrificing as much, and most of my job is back ‘online’ – HARDLY CONNECTION. For an animal sensory body this is just looking at a screen all day – this is the key truth I’ve come to. But I think it’s also because of this… There are less ways to actively feel one has had an impact or genuinely valued in the day to day. Whether it’s everyone’s differentiating focus. Rather than on building community spirit, it’s on the wheel of family/self focuseddrudge of work life/lack of vulnerability or fun/complacency that builds up when you’ve lived somewhere your whole life.

I think the older I get, it feels harder and harder. More and more sort of isolated and irrelevant. The greatest gift in life is to give so much, you feel appreciation and need in return. Slightly egoic perhaps but also a great reward for giving. Love I think they call it? Not just in the codependant/romantic type.

Such a good point about ‘the disconnection of coming home, not so much with other people – but the disconnection with travelling ‘self”. I came back into a huge depression (honestly), from doing 8 months travelling/moving across The Americas – which as you said can be VERY lonely but also exhilarating and liberating. The photo’s ‘look cool’. Firstly I was young and so still ‘lost and searching’ deep down. Secondly I did an ‘extreme’ trip moving consistently and hiking in physically challenging conditions (aka came back literally physically a whole new shape as a ultra distance athlete….LOL!!) and thirdly I had no financial career set up, so home became overwhelming with routine and unemployment. Now I’m 26 I sense it will be very different if I make a move, this time for work. In that I am aware of the potholes, the mental health stuff, the need to keep my days fuller, the lack of being able to rest on my laurels financially/security wise, the dissonance moments.

So lessons for late twenties me (personal to my preferences):
1. I decided that I would only ever do such a long trip (more than 1 month) if it was intrinsically work related (expat life).
2. I would prefer to have a financial set up at home (… Not sure how to do that in Sydney hahaha $$ but that would be the dream).
3. I must get up early and keep trying new things when overseas. But acknowledge my boundaries – SLEEP!
4. My go to with anxiety is overeating ahahaha so, to mitigate this with more physical activity like hiking with a new friend.
5. Learn the language as best as possible, try to find some local friends (… What can I offer them in their lives that will help, or inspire them in their routine?… If anything…? Rather than just expecting they would want to invest their few non work hours into someone who can’t find their humour, is a fully fledged adult and who knows I’ll leave eventually).
6. Find a way to contribute to my DIRECT community back home. A tangible way (not just on emails, phone, photos). Community takes effort and improving the local community takes sacrifice. I notice that it’s these people who show up everyday who feel more fulfilled but also beloved because they’re actively maintaining or improving the direct land on which they were born/are earthed to. Sort of an Indigenous Australian concept that I have found to ring true.
7. Always have a good set of health (not just insurance) funds for back up. I always get sick or injured. Australia is pretty breezy for that stuff fortunately.
8. Maybe go with a partner, best case scenario? Haven’t tried it. Could also be stifling – unless truly in love and understanding of each other.
9. Don’t expect to feel, like you haven’t been a bit of a blip in time (for yourself, but mostly others) unless you truly give back. It takes time. Even in Sydney I don’t feel that so much because I shy away at home too much and everyone’s so busy.
10. The loneliness, and the void haunts everyone, at home or not at ‘home’. Relax into it. Have some sort of spiritual (or something) practise. Even just a mini shrine of some self care items. Brighten up your space.

This applies to travellers and expats perhaps. Perhaps not.

I might be moving to Geneva for short time, which I heard is voted the worst for expats hahahaha wish me luck.

Thanks

What I learnt about myself. I am actually very comfortable as someone eloquently said ‘being unashamedly myself’ and therefore I am OK not relying on all the feedback from my friends about who I am, and how great I am. Ok, of course I need it, that’s human, but I think that makes me someone able to adventure and play with that unknown more easily. Though I do need something that links me to purpose and belonging of course. An overall ‘purpose’.