Thank you SO much for sharing your experience, Fiona!
A friend of mine who is a mother and lives in Japan also commented that she knows many foreign women married to Japanese men – but that I wouldn’t necessarily meet them unless I was part of their mother’s group.
And you nailed the key to a successful intercultural relationship: communication. I’m glad you have a happy relationship with your Japanese fella! 🙂

Honesty is always a good policy we reap what we sow.

Hi Jacqualine,
I can see I’ve touched a nerve.
I never presumed to speak for all foreign women, nor did I write anything to that effect. I simply shared my own experiences, as well as conversations I’d had with other people in intercultural relationships in Japan who have also had similar experiences. The theories presented in this article are just that – theories, and not generalizations about “all” foreign women as you seem to have presumed.

That said, I greatly appreciate you sharing your experience! Thank you or allowing us to live and learn through you.

You’re SO right! Communication is imperative in any relationship, but especially important in an intercultural one. I believe it would be safe to say that NOTHING can be assumed. 😉

Hi Appie,
I’m so glad that you’ve embraced Japanese culture and feeling generally accepted. Also, great that you are raising your daughter with multi-cultural values.

I think you nailed it when you said intercultural marriage works best with both parties are open to the other’s cultural background and practices.
And that takes lots of communication, and a willingness to step outside your own cultural norms.

Interesting article.
I know I am little bit to late with replying but better late than never 🙂

I never had the intention to find a Japanese woman, or marry a Japanese woman. I have no, so called yellow fever. But I met the woman who I fell in love with and never left her side. Now I have been married with a Japanese woman and we have a really lovely daughter, already 11 years.

I believe interracial marriage is possible if you both are willing to be open for each others background. Many marriages ends because of misunderstanding or miscommunication.

My daughter is raised up with Japanese as well as Dutch thinking, yes I am from the Netherlands. This is for me really important so that she can develop a strong personality.

For my wife, she is a traditional Japanese woman. (for the gents, no complains about our sexual life) but I mean she is raised up in a local area where values and culture are still highly appreciated.

We live in a country side area, because I do not want to live in a big city. My work is located in Nagoya, and I can take the train and be within one hour at my destiny. (Japan as a great public transport)

Of course sometimes I feel isolated because making friends or meeting new people can be a challenge, but once you accepted you are welcomed always.

I have adapted the Japanese society and culture and I give back my culture in exchange by food and other experiences.

Thank you very much for sharing your experience! It is very valuable to understand from a Japanese male perspective.
And I agree: Tokyo is not Japan. Good point! Thank you.